Category Archives: catholic family life

March 20, 2013 · 10:50 am

blessing each other….AND the pope!

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So, here’s the background story on this week’s Prairie Messenger article….

The PM sends it’s Easter issue out early, to ensure that reader’s have it in time for Easter. My friend and editor, Maureen, asked if I could write a piece for this issue. I thought of the great blessing experience we had last Easter in our parish, and decided to expand on the theme of blessing.

I gleefully recounted the story of the day that I ‘dared’ to bless Pope Benedict in St. Peter’s square, and included it in the article. Days after the article was submitted, lo and behold……there is our new pope standing on the papal balcony asking us all to give him a blessing!

My personal story lost it’s ‘wow’ factor, but the yearning and wish expressed in the article had come true. I quickly sent a P.S. to Maureen, and she happily included it.

Pope Francis, in one small gesture, has equalized and promoted the wonderful gift of blessing each other. And, God bless him for it!

Here is the article….. During Easter’s jubilant days, go ahead and bless!

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February 14, 2013 · 9:58 pm

obedience – listening with the mind and heart

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Forced assent is not true obedience. It is merely submission wrapped up in the need to enforce one’s power. True obedience is assent freely given. It requires the fusion of mind and heart to listen carefully, discern wisely and respond rightly to what is being asked of us, especially when what is being asked is difficult. 

Before this week’s shocker news of the Pope’s resignation, I was pondering the question of obedience. This article for the Prairie Messenger isn’t a theological treatise or a catechetical exploration. It’s a simple reflection from the heart of family life.

To read more…Obedience is lived truly when it is grounded in love

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December 21, 2012 · 9:56 am

the gift of children, the gift of christmas

New Zealand Christmas story

New Zealand Christmas story

I am a terrible family archivist. Photos overflow from boxes. Albums seldom have more than two or three completed pages. Baby records were never kept. (Ok, perhaps the first two months of the first born!) Scrap-booking? Sadly, not for this Mama.

One year, hubby and I decided to splurge on a video camera. As with many electronic gadgets of the time, it was crazy expensive. We proceeded to film the clan. The tapes collected dust in the basement while the recording devices became obsolete. After much prodding from one of our daughters, I finally took them to the local TV studio to have them transferred to DVDs – just in time for Christmas viewing.

Last night, hubby and I poured some drinks, snuggled on the couch, and attended a private movie premiere. What fun! We laughed until we cried. We watched in wonder and awe at the sibling interactions. Scenes were recorded that we forgot about. There are great shots of the Moyer farm. Grandpa is proudly spinning the tires off his new swather in the middle of the family baseball field. Immediately following, we have scenes of Dziadzio flying his home-built aircraft. What fun grand-parents to have!

One of my favorite tapes is the Moyer production of Les Miz. While the dying Eponine sings her heart out, the (very) young Marius rolls his eyes and yawns. Epic!

Watching and listening to these five young souls fills me with overwhelming gratitude. What fun they were, and what a great sense of humor they had. How blessed are we to have always been surrounded by the love of family and friends. At the risk of sounding schmaltzy, it really is the greatest gift of all. OK, forget schmaltzy….it’s truth!

A friend forwarded this video to me this morning. It’s the story of Christmas as told by the children of St Paul’s Church, Auckland, New Zealand, and guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Another proof that the gift of Christmas is often best reflected through the eyes of children.

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August 29, 2012 · 10:18 am

the gift of traditions – a guest post

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The following is written by my friend, Christine Suriano. She and her husband Tony are inspirational models of faith-filled marriage and joy-filled family life. Thank you, Chris! :-)

Therefore, brothers and sisters, stand firm, and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught. (2 Thess. 2)

I think there are times we do not hold on to tradition; be it home, family, community, church. It may appear “old-fashioned”, maybe even worthless to some. And, we certainly don’t have time anymore. Do you hear what I hear?

I love the times when we are together and talk starts about what we did when the children were young, or the habits and lifestyles of grandparents and relatives. We laugh heartily, and that seems to bring on yet another story that is even funnier.

Much of what we talk about is how we enjoyed the simple things. Not having a lot of money, we made do. We couldn’t afford hotels and resorts, so we tent camped.  Sue and Chris shared a pair of clogs. The size was in the middle; a bit small for Sue and a bit large for Chris.  Recently, we recounted memories of those who lived with us on a temporary basis. I had forgotten who they were, but we laughed our heads off.

We had the Lent and Advent traditions; both what we did at home and how we recognized the needs of others outside our home. How and why did we keep certain Christmas traditions, especially the tree and the food preparations?

The church was one of the most important places within our family. We shared and cared and were supported by genuine, faith-filled people and clergy.  Taking on any responsibility was expected. Many shared and many gained from these experiences. It was a kind of Kumbaya-time in our lives.

Yes, things have changed over the generations. Change is a challenge, right?  Times are different and there are some traditions we won’t give up.  No matter where our families live, everyone gathers with other family members or neighbors and friends and has the traditional Italian Christmas Eve dinner.  Our Christmas gifting remains the same. Even though someone might not agree with the chosen charity, it is their choice when it is their time up at bat.

It’s the memories, the traditions that may or may no longer exist, that have brought all of us to where we are as a family. Right here. In this moment in time.  They have helped build relationships that have held true for 30, 40 and 50 years.

For all the above thoughts, emotions and memories, I thank you, God.  You are forever awesome.

May you continue to enjoy your traditions!

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May 17, 2012 · 11:09 am

Filipino families bring new life to small town parish

It’s always a joy to share good news happening in our church, especially signs of new growth. We’re experiencing this new growth in our small town, prairie parish. The growth is not coming from any evangelizing efforts on our part. It is coming from an influx of new citizens from overseas, mostly from the Philippines. Deeply grounded in family, faith and church, our Filipino friends have been both inspiration and gift to a stagnant community. Here is the article I wrote for the Prairie Messenger….

New friends in a prairie parish bring inspiration

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May 14, 2012 · 9:40 pm

Sacramental marriage beyond anatomy | National Catholic Reporter

If a sacrament is a sign of God’s grace, it follows that relationships that are signs of God’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness are sacramental. These signs of grace are part of the new life that married couples are called to bring into the world, with or without children.

via Sacramental marriage beyond anatomy | National Catholic Reporter.

I support civil unions for gay couples. I believe it from a legal point of view, so the rights of couples in life-long relationships can be supported and upheld.

I have slowly learned to accept the unions from a relational and not only legal point of view. Why can’t we call it a legal marriage, if it is a loving commitment for life? As a Catholic, I rationalized this view by differentiating from a civil marriage and a sacramental marriage. A union of two women or two men will never be a sacramental marriage in the eyes of the Church, so why should we get our shorts in a knot over a marriage on purely legal terms? There. I satisfied my liberal heart and my Catholic conscience.

Until I read Jamie L. Manson’s NCR article Sacramental marriage beyond anatomy. Now I have to rethink my whole view of sacramental marriage.

Jamie shares her own family experience of marriage, which included hardships and divorce. It wasn’t until she was in grad school that she observed the marriages of friends as being truly sacramental.

What made my straight friends’ marriages sacramental wasn’t the fact that their anatomies matched up in a particular way or that they could procreate. As I learned from my childhood, complementing genders and an ability to reproduce in no way guarantees that a marriage will be graced or sacramental. Their marriage was good and holy because it helped both partners to grow in generosity, compassion, mercy, and faithfulness.

She now believes that

the sacramental nature of marriage should be judged by whether there is equality and mutuality between spouses, whether the relationship helps both spouses to flourish individually and as a couple, and whether their relationship brings the love, mercy, and faithfulness of God more fully into our world.

If this is the case, is it so inconceivable to dare to see a loving, committed union between two women or two men as a sacrament?

Of course, this is getting into dangerous territory for it would force us to rethink our entire sacramental theology. If we accept this logic, that the efficacy of a sacrament shouldn’t depend on anatomy, then the reasoning behind the male only priesthood would also have to be thrown out the window.

We have to be careful about opening the windows of our minds and hearts. For one wee breeze can quickly turn into a freely blowing wind of change.

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March 29, 2012 · 10:48 am

vatican approves blessing rite for unborn children

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This Mother’s Day, Catholics in the U.S. will have a new Rite for Unborn Children. The announcement was made this week on March 26, the Feast of the Annunciation. According to the CNS News Brief,

The blessing was prepared to support parents awaiting the birth of their child, to encourage parish prayers for and recognition of the gift of the child in the womb, and to foster respect for human life within society. It can be offered within the context of Mass as well as outside of Mass, and for an individual mother, a couple or a group of expectant parents. “We wanted to make this announcement as soon as possible so that parishes might begin to look at how this blessing might be woven into the fabric of parish life,” said Archbishop Gregory M. Aymond of New Orleans, chairman of the USCCB Committee on Divine Worship. “Eventually the new blessing will be included in the Book of Blessings when that text is revised.”

This is all very nice, but leaves me puzzled. Why is blessing an unborn child considered a new rite? Was there no such rite before? Do we need an official rite?

I went to my old, tattered version of the Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers, published by the American bishops back in 1988. It includes several ‘Blessings before and after Birth’; for the Conception or Adoption of a Child: during Pregnancy, for both parents: during Pregnancy for the Mother: near the Time of Birth: Thanksgiving for a Newborn or Newly Adopted Child: Parents’ Thanksgiving: Bringing a Child into the Home: and even a Mother’s Blessing of a Child when Nursing or Feeding.

A newer version of Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers is now available. The Canadian Bishops have since published Blessings and Prayers for Home and Family, available on the CCCB web-site. We used the older book often when the children were younger. It was a handy reference for special prayers, and graces before a meal during liturgical seasons and feast days.

But, we didn’t actually need any special resources to bless the unborn children in our family. Each night, we gathered as a family and recited a list of prayers. We ended with a litany of names. God bless Mommy and Daddy. God bless Grandma and Grandpa. God bless Babcia and Dziadzio. God bless…and then began a list of all our children including cousins. For many years, the list ended with ‘AAAAAND the new baby’! It was a simple prayer of blessing, raised to the heavens by loving siblings and cousins asking for the safe arrival of the newest family member.

While it is nice that the American bishops feel the need for an official rite of blessing, I can’t help but think that attached to this official rite might be the desire to keep the act of blessing within “official” hands. It reminds me a bit of the pastors who invite non-Catholics into their communion line so they may receive a “priestly” blessing, rather than a watered down version from the lay Eucharistic minister.

We all need all the blessings we can get. And it is a wonderful idea for the parish community to have an opportunity to join in a prayer of blessing for expectant parents and their child. God bless the bishops for promoting this. The books of blessings for home and family encourage and invite us ALL to bless each other. For what is a blessing, but a shout out to God? When we bless someone, we are asking God to shower them with the courage, grace, faith, hope and love needed to live fully both the joys and sorrows of life. And, we don’t need an official Rite to do this.

(see also bless you!…can I?)

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February 19, 2012 · 4:56 pm

Hugs are an outward sign of inward grace | National Catholic Reporter

Our purpose in life is to come to see and to show what we really are in Christ. A hug is an outward sign of an inward grace. It expresses our spiritual oneness with God and each other. What could be more beautiful?

via Hugs are an outward sign of inward grace | National Catholic Reporter.

Please do read the above essay by Michael Leach. Warning, it might give you an uncontrollable urge to hug someone.

Hugs are given out generously in our family. When we arrive, and when we depart; we hug. When we hear news worth celebrating, and when sorrows are shared; we hug. When we reunite with old friends or family, a hug melts the separation of time. And when someone new is welcomed into our home…well, that can get a wee bit tricky…

One daughter always warns her friends that they may get hugged at the door. But, the ‘hug or not to hug’ question sometimes requires a game-time decision. I hate making decisions, so usually open my arms to welcome someone new. When in doubt, hug…right? Not always. When someone seems really ill at ease or shy, a hug can be truly an awkward thing. Just like the ‘dead fish hand-shake’, the ill-at-ease-light-pat-on-the-back-and-oh-so-swift-distancing can feel like a rejection. In those cases, I just make a mental note. Next time, a warm greeting and perhaps an outstretched hand.

Or, another approach. Persistence! Some folks just need some hugging lessons. Give them enough time and enough hugs, and they’ll get the hang of it. It’s a wonderful feeling when a reformed non-hugger  finally welcomes you with open arms. :-)

But, I have also been in situations where cultural traditions must be respected. Physical closeness can be seen as not only an intrusion, but as the height of rudeness. This must be respected in order not to offend. And then there’s the wonderful European embrace…arms on shoulders and the double cheek kiss. After a lot of head butts, I’m still trying to master this one. Which side do you start with? And then, just when I think I got it, someone pulls out the triple kiss!

Ah, now I’m over-analyzing the beautiful simplicity of a wonderful gesture. Leach also says, An old saying goes, “A hug is a universal medicine. It is how we handshake from the heart.”

A BIG AMEN!!!

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December 23, 2011 · 11:07 am

what will this child become?

Jesus and John the Baptist

What then will this child become? Luke 1:66 

The miraculous circumstances surrounding the birth of John the Baptist had local tongues wagging. First, dear elderly Elizabeth becomes pregnant well past her child-bearing years. Daddy Zachariah is struck dumb after questioning the heavenly messenger`s announcement. After the boy is born, Mama insists on calling him John; the name given by the angel. Hubby seconds the motion, writing his approval on a tablet. And, lo and behold, Papa`s voice returns!

This was no ordinary birth. How could his life be ordinary? What, then, will this child become?

We ask this question of all the children in our lives. A newborn elicits deep pondering about hope, potential and promise. The wee face and body provides only a twinkle of a glimpse into future looks and personality. Changes appear daily.

From toddlers to school-children, individual talents and challenges begin to emerge. As bodies grow, characters are formed. Having five children of our own, we were always amazed at their uniqueness and diversity.

By high school, the first hesitant attempts at planning a future life begin. We now know, from experience, of the heavy stresses placed on our young people as they discern career choices and life`s paths. Who knows at 18 years of age what this child will become?

Through the twenties paths are tried and tested. Some lead in a simple straight line to fulfilled dreams. Most wind through and around different places, providing either freedom or uncertainty depending on where the mind and heart are residing.

Perhaps as our children begin their own families, we can finally breathe a sigh of relief. We now know what they have become! But, we all know that life is full of surprises, unexpected challenges and new opportunities. Untried paths can open up before us regardless of the time of life we are in. I am in my middle years, still wondering what I will become.

As the holy season of Christmas approaches, we prepare to celebrate the coming of the most extra-ordinary babe, born in the most ordinary surroundings. His miraculous birth has tongues wagging to this day. He showed us the blessedness of each child born, the sacredness of each life created by a loving God.

Here`s to all the children in our lives – young and old. May we all trust in God`s loving plan for each of them; and always be open to the surprises along the way!

Wishing you all a joy-filled and blessed Christmas!

affectionately,

Isabella

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December 13, 2011 · 7:41 pm

the gift is in the visit

The Visitation Mariotto Albertinelli 1503, http://freechristimages.org/

It’s the time of year for visiting and joy-filled celebrations. It’s the time for groaning tables, over-flowing glasses, and good cheer all around.

Visiting is my favorite part of the season. But, it can also be the most stressful. Each year I vow to simplify things. But simplicity never seems to come. Christmas comes with its own great expectations. It’s the grand dame of holidays, the stuff of family memories and legends. And, the grand dame must be appeased!

One of my favorite Food Network shows is Dinner Party Wars. I’m not a fan of reality shows, but I do enjoy this one. Three couples take turns hosting a dinner party. They are judged on their food and the quality of their hospitality. Spending excess time on fancy food preparation at the expense of time with your guests is a big no-no. Snobbery and self-centered conversations will lose you points as will being an ungracious host or an ungracious guest. Having the fanciest place-setting or the most pretentious meal will not guarantee you a win. Simple food cooked well while providing a warm, congenial atmosphere will. And, that’s why I like it!

The beautiful story of the Visitation, reminds us of the deeper truth in the act of visiting. We see Mary leaving the comfort and security of her home after receiving the life-altering news of her pregnancy. The journey must have been filled with fears, hardships and worries. Yet she headed out to visit her much older cousin, Elizabeth, in her time of need. She went to help, but perhaps also for moral and sisterly support. The image of the two women joyfully greeting each other, while babes leap in the wombs brings gladness to all hearts. Elizabeth wouldn’t have known that Mary was coming. How would she? She did not have time to put flowers on the front table or prepare a fancy dessert. All that was needed was open arms and a welcoming embrace.

It is a sign of hospitality to have home and hearth ready and prepared for guests. It is a sign of friendship and love to gather around the table to share a great meal and conversation. But the heart of hospitality is grounded in presence. And, the true gift lies in the visit.

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