Category Archives: prayer

April 4, 2013 · 9:09 pm

how to find time to pray – a guest blog

Dear friends,

The following is a guest blog from Cassie Driggs, a reader and friend of catholic dialogue. We all know the importance of prayer in our lives. We also know how easy it is to let it slide. Cassie reminds us of the importance of forming our own habits of prayer. What helps you to make prayer a regular part of your daily routine? We’d love to hear from you!

Isabella

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How to Find Time to Pray

When we moved to a new home, very little about our daily routine changed. We ate dinner at the same time. We worked the same number of hours each day. Our son woke up and ate toast for breakfast like any other morning. And yet, something wasn’t quite right.

The smallest things started to set me off: an overcooked dinner one night, an impatient child at the library in the afternoon, or someone blaring her horn at me in traffic. All of them left me rattled and unsettled. What was different?

As my husband and I talked this over one night, it finally hit me: my prayer habit didn’t make the move with me.

Finding a Place to Pray

In our former house, I would wake up, pour myself a cup of coffee, and then sit down to pray in the same recliner every single morning. It wasn’t much to look at. Worn but comfortable, we’d added it to my husband’s home office as an afterthought. Just an old chair we picked up at a garage sale. It made his office feel a bit more comfortable.

Over time that chair became a refuge of sorts for me. We thought nothing of giving it away to a college student. I soon realized that having a place to pray wasn’t just a luxury. It was a necessity. While I didn’t go out searching for the same exact kind of chair, we immediately set aside a spot in our home where I can pray each morning without worrying about interruption.

Finding a Prayer Cue

Without my morning prayer routine, I also lost my prayer “cue.” When you think of cue cards on a television show, they prompt someone to say or do something. For my prayer life, I’d been unconsciously using my coffee as my cue to go pray. Once I had my cup of coffee in hand, I could go to my chair where my journal and prayer book waited.

While I don’t need coffee to always serve as my cue, it helps to have a routine that can automatically launch me into my prayer time. When distractions set in, a full mug of coffee reminds me that I need to stop for a time of prayer.

Creating a Prayer Habit

Prayer is a mysterious practice. Are we listening to God? Is God speaking? Are we supposed to bring our requests to God before saying thank you? Should we recite the prayers of others rather than making up our own? There are so many different ways to pray, and I’ve found that the ways I pray will change over time.

However, a great place to start with prayer each day is praying the Hours. You can find them online or pick up an adapted version by Phyllis Tickle. The Hours provide brief passages of scripture for meditation and a series of prayers you can recite. They’ll arranged around the church calendar and provide specific prayers for the morning, afternoon, and evening. When I don’t know where to start or what to say, the Hours jump start my prayer time and give me a great place to start praying before my day gets going.

About the Guest Blogger

Cassie Driggs is a freelance writer for religious gift shop, St. Patrick’s Guild. She is a laundry-folding, toddler chasing wife and mother to one. During naptime you’ll find her scribbling poems in her journal or writing articles online.

 

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February 13, 2013 · 7:26 pm

the big silence

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The Big Silence cast

Many of the world’s religions believe that there is one simple path that leads us to God. This same path takes us to the very center of who we are. It has been at the core of the Catholic mystical tradition for centuries. But, outside of religious settings it has all but disappeared. It’s called SILENCE. (taken from the introduction to The Big Silence)

There is little silence in the world of church news today. Yet, amid the clamorous head-lines surrounding the papal resignation…Lent begins.

I’ve shared many times about my lack of self-discipline. I suck at giving things up, sticking to diets, or keeping resolutions. Therefore, I’m going to go small this Lent – as opposed to going big and failing. I’m going to try and carve out a wee bit of intentional silence each day.

Last week I came across a link to an intriguing British reality show, available on YouTube, called The Big Silence. The series is about five volunteers who are invited to leave their hectic lives behind to enter into silence. The first experience is a weekend in a Benedictine community in Worth Abbey, after which they are invited to seek some silent time in their day to day lives. The biggest challenge follows; eight days of silence in a Jesuit retreat centre in North Wales. The last part of the series follows them as they re-enter into their ‘normal’ lives. For some, it was a life-changing experience. Some struggled to make sense of what happened in those eight days. For all, there is the challenge to make silence part of their daily living outside of a structured retreat experience.

The group comprises a diversity of religious and spiritual back-grounds. Some have a faith life, some don’t.  This makes it all the more fascinating to watch as they voluntarily enter into two very Catholic settings; a Benedictine monastery and a Jesuit retreat center. Conversion to a specific belief is not the purpose of the quest. The purpose is to enter into silence. In the process, God may or may not be found.

As with most reality shows, there is a sense of voyeurism as we listen to them share their experiences for the camera and with their spiritual guides. The gift of this show, and the gift offered by these volunteers, is a wee window into the soul of five regular women and men. They are not saints or even intentional seekers of a spiritual life. Yet, the spiritual life seems to tweak each and every one of them.

Watching this show has nudged me into my Lenten resolution. I’m going to put aside the ‘noise’ of iPads, iPhones, computers and TV’s for a tiny chunk of time each day; perhaps 15 minutes to begin. Turning off gadgets will be easy. Turning off my mind will be the challenge!

(The three hour series has been divided into twelve, 15 minute episodes for YouTube viewing. Just search The Big Silence and the episode number you want to watch. A companion web-site, Growing into Silence provides many resources for the journey.)

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December 17, 2012 · 3:53 pm

in the midst of darkness…come, Lord Jesus

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I have five children
they were all six years old once
so many years ago
then seven…

I have a grand-child
so new to the world
and another wee babe
awaiting birth

I have friends who are school principals
school psychologists
teachers
teacher’s assistants

the horror digs deep
forcing mind to imagine
the unimaginable

horror and grief
threaten to crush
heralds of joy

to silence
season’s greetings

in the midst of darkness
Come, Lord Jesus…

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September 11, 2012 · 9:51 pm

9/11 reflection and prayer re-visited

The busyness of life kept me away from this blog since last week. When I opened it up just now, the site stats showed that many visitors have stopped by to read the 9/11 prayer and reflection written by my friend Chris Suriano last year. The picture that accompanied the post was painted by my Mama, Irena Sliwinski. I am re-posting both below. May the sad memories of this day, eleven years ago, inspire us all to pray and work mightily for peace in our world.

9/11 by Irena Sliwinski

Indeed, the grace of our Lord has been abundant… 1 TM 1:13

As we prepare to memorialize the 10th anniversary of 9/11, this line rings in my heart.  I’ve been watching on TV and reading in the newspapers, testimonies of the victims families…pictures of memorials from all over the world and the power of thousands of “pay it forwards.”  Those who said YES to the grace offered by the Divine have smiles on their faces, joy in their hearts and a very deep understanding of self.  They do not ask for pity.  When memories fill their beings and tears flood their eyes, they only want us to BE there with them.

All of the victims left a legacy…so many have been abundantly nourished by each one, especially the many children who were born, never knowing their fathers, but have expressed the feelings of knowing each of those life-giving men, sensing their presence every day.

Divine One, thank you for blessing the lives of the many who were left behind.
In gratitude for the grace one finds in knowing the mortality of body does not reflect
the absence of spirit.

Walk with those who will be journeying this weekend to the places of loss…our Capitol, our farm in rural
Pennsylvania and our City of New York…each one of these reflects who we are as a country of diversity.

Protect us from further harm.  Give courage and strength to those who are strategically placed to guard
us from further destruction.

You are like the sea…constant…
You are like the mountain…magnificent…
You are the Father, You are the Son…
the manifestation of the Spirit…
and may we never forget, in YOU (GOD) we trust…AMEN!

PEACE…SHANTI…SHALOM

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May 9, 2012 · 11:53 am

being open to dialogue created in mystery

There is much to be learned by reading, reflecting and praying with scripture. Scripture will only come alive for us today, remain relevant in today’s world, (with all its darkness, and all its grace) by us being open to the dialogue that is created in the mystery.

These words were posted by ‘Pati’ in response to comments made on an NCR Today blog post I wrote, Blame Mary for the role of women in the church today.

The post caused a bit of a heated discussion. (I wish that I could call it a dialogue.) The responses on this catholic dialogue blog are almost always well-thought out and respectful. The occasional attacking voice sticks out because it is a rarity.

The National Catholic Reporter discussion boards are a different beast all together. You hear from a diversity of voices, which is wonderful. You also hear from voices that don’t shy from criticizing, judging and condemning others. This is not so wonderful. It is disheartening and depressing.

Pati’s response speaks powerfully to the living and breathing word of God. It speaks of a faith seeking understanding with the holistic approach of mind, heart and soul.  It speaks of going deeper than the black and white world of apologetics, where the words of Scripture and church documents are used merely to defend our own view or condemn the view of another.

There is an inherent laziness in embracing the world of black and white, where right and wrong are clearly laid out and unchanging. It bypasses the need to prayerfully discern God’s word, to contemplate it from all angles, to seek the message for our here and now, to embrace it as a true guide for our actions and not just our words. It avoids the messiness of entering into the many grey areas of life, where the black and white answers lose their clarity and simplicity.

There is also an inherent laziness in arguing merely around opinions. There is always the danger of rationalizing our own thoughts to answer the needs of our own personal agendas. Fruitful and effective dialogue requires careful reasoning and reasonable thought processes from all. And it requires a prayerful and discerning heart.

(See also, An informed conscience…please!)

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May 1, 2012 · 4:42 pm

prayer as dance of joy!

A cloud has hung over our lives for over a month. A friend was given the news that no cancer survivor wants to hear; the cancer has metastasized and it doesn’t look good. Parents of four wonderful young men, he and his wife were looking forward to their first family wedding this summer. Planning the wedding was now the furthest thing from the young couples’ minds as they feared for their father and father-in-law.

Another medical consult opened a wee window of hope. A second doctor told them not to panic until a biopsy was done. How do you not panic in the agonizing weeks of waiting? How do you go on with your life while waiting for an appointment, then for results?

Well, the waiting was over today. The results were in and it’s NOT cancer! Clouds have lifted, and the glories of life have lightened all hearts. A man and wife will rejoice in the gift of years, and their children will rejoice with them. The wedding will be celebrated with the full joy intended when two hearts in love pledge their troth to each other. There will be no worries of bittersweet moments. Who wants them? Bitter too easily overwhelms the sweet.

Friends have been literally praying around the globe. It was an absolute joy to send out the good news across cyber-space, and prayers of gratitude across eternity to the communion of saints who join us in our prayers.

And, always, thanksgiving and praise to our loving God who has once more looked kindly on us all.

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April 16, 2012 · 7:46 pm

when prayers aren’t answered – a guest post

Emily Rose Kirchner, a mother of twins and a freelance writer for Discount Catholic Products, wrote and asked if I am open to guest posts. Of course I am! The more voices, the better the dialogue. Here is Emily’s article, “When Prayers aren’t Answered”.

When Prayers aren’t Answered

Everyone has prayers that don’t seem to be answered—the interview for the Perfect Job doesn’t turn out so great, the spot in the swim team goes to someone else, a loved one’s flight home gets cancelled. We all go through disappointments. What’s more important, however, is how we deal with these situations. Here are a few things we should remember when our prayers go unanswered:

God Always Has a Plan

For you and everyone else, God has a plan. You just have to realize that when He doesn’t give you one thing, He has something else in mind. He may not have sent you this opportunity, but that only means He’s holding another door open for you. What comes next might even be better than you expect.

Tomorrow is a New Day

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Don’t worry about the prayers that haven’t been answered today; as long as we live and breathe, we have a chance to turn things around. While you may be disappointed today, tomorrow affords us the chance to pick ourselves up and shake off the dust from our stumbles.

Continue reading →

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April 3, 2012 · 7:35 pm

The Tablet – Behold the Man of Sorrows

The Tablet – Behold the Man of Sorrows.

My mother is an accomplished artist. The two youngest of my five children are graphic designers. My own art skills have never developed beyond a young child’s attempt at daisies, twiggy trees and suns. I have a great admiration for an artist’s ability to lead you into pondering, to seek deeper meaning beyond the ordinary. Good art is, indeed, a spiritual experience.

A small hamlet in Wales has provided a unique spiritual experience this Lent. St. Michael’s church in Discoed has a congregation of only fifteen members. David Hiam paired up with Charles MacCarthy, a local artist, to commission fourteen different artists to depict the stations of the cross; one station each. The result is stunning. The diversity of art forms is matched by the diversity of the artist’s themselves.

Although most of them have an interest in religion – four belong to a group called Art & the Spirit – doctrinally speaking, they’re a mixed bag. They include an atheist, a Buddhist and, somewhere in between, “a questioning Christian of the Anglican tradition, slightly itinerant”. In a parish that once prided itself on having no resident “Papist or reputed Papist”, they also include a Catholic, and have chosen to illustrate Pope John Paul II’s Scriptural Way of the Cross.

Art critic, Laura Gascoigne provides a thoughtful review of the individual stations. The Tablet also provides a link to photos of the stations themselves. It makes for a powerful holy week meditation.

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April 1, 2012 · 9:54 am

is there a hierarchy of blessings?

An interesting dialogue has unfolded on the previous post regarding blessings. Are blessings given by an ordained man more effective or special? Here are some thoughts…

Many of us were raised to believe in a hierarchy of blessings. This reflected the church as a structure of hierarchical leadership, and was ingrained within our Catholic psyche. A deacon’s blessing was greater than a lay person’s. A priest’s blessing was greater than a deacon’s. A bishop’s blessing was greater than a priest’s. And a papal blessing was the best of all!

Promoting this belief has fed the great divide between the ordained and the laity – a divide that has benefited the ordained for centuries. It went beyond affirming the special sacramental gifts received in ordination, to a belief in an assumed wisdom. And, an assumed holiness. (Thankfully, our Church has been careful to teach that the efficacy of the sacraments does not depend on the holiness of the priests.)

This assumption of holiness in the ordained has got us into a lot of trouble, and has allowed a lot of evil to go unchecked and unpunished in our church. So, no, I can no longer believe that the blessing of an ordained man is automatically holier or more effective. St. Francis might have had a big enough heart to prostrate himself before every priest merely because he was a priest; even if that priest was the greatest sinner of all. My heart isn’t that big.

Whether lay or ordained, God listens to the prayers of both sinners and saints. So, hopefully God will receive kindly the blessings of all. But, my own human nature tells me that when a true person of prayer tells me they are praying for me, then somehow that prayer will be given special hearing; because it is a prayer that comes from the depths of the heart. (This is why it is so wonderful to join our prayers to that great communion of saints.)

And, I feel the same way about blessings. A blessing is a prayerful shout out to God to shower graces on a specific person, event, place or thing.  I don’t believe that the efficacy of the prayer depends on our official status in the Church, or even if we are Catholic or not! When a person that I love and respect for their deep faith offers to bless me, than I feel truly blessed.

A former pastor always invited the parish community to join him in special blessings. This was a powerful gesture, especially during the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) as women and men journeyed to the Easter sacraments. As he read the ‘official’ blessings of the Church, we all turned to the person and raised our hands in a blessing gesture. This simple action took the focus away from the priest as some magical dispenser of blessings, to a blessing community. And when the entire community blesses, then you can’t help but believe that the the blessings will overflow.

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March 29, 2012 · 10:48 am

vatican approves blessing rite for unborn children

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This Mother’s Day, Catholics in the U.S. will have a new Rite for Unborn Children. The announcement was made this week on March 26, the Feast of the Annunciation. According to the CNS News Brief,

The blessing was prepared to support parents awaiting the birth of their child, to encourage parish prayers for and recognition of the gift of the child in the womb, and to foster respect for human life within society. It can be offered within the context of Mass as well as outside of Mass, and for an individual mother, a couple or a group of expectant parents. “We wanted to make this announcement as soon as possible so that parishes might begin to look at how this blessing might be woven into the fabric of parish life,” said Archbishop Gregory M. Aymond of New Orleans, chairman of the USCCB Committee on Divine Worship. “Eventually the new blessing will be included in the Book of Blessings when that text is revised.”

This is all very nice, but leaves me puzzled. Why is blessing an unborn child considered a new rite? Was there no such rite before? Do we need an official rite?

I went to my old, tattered version of the Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers, published by the American bishops back in 1988. It includes several ‘Blessings before and after Birth’; for the Conception or Adoption of a Child: during Pregnancy, for both parents: during Pregnancy for the Mother: near the Time of Birth: Thanksgiving for a Newborn or Newly Adopted Child: Parents’ Thanksgiving: Bringing a Child into the Home: and even a Mother’s Blessing of a Child when Nursing or Feeding.

A newer version of Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers is now available. The Canadian Bishops have since published Blessings and Prayers for Home and Family, available on the CCCB web-site. We used the older book often when the children were younger. It was a handy reference for special prayers, and graces before a meal during liturgical seasons and feast days.

But, we didn’t actually need any special resources to bless the unborn children in our family. Each night, we gathered as a family and recited a list of prayers. We ended with a litany of names. God bless Mommy and Daddy. God bless Grandma and Grandpa. God bless Babcia and Dziadzio. God bless…and then began a list of all our children including cousins. For many years, the list ended with ‘AAAAAND the new baby’! It was a simple prayer of blessing, raised to the heavens by loving siblings and cousins asking for the safe arrival of the newest family member.

While it is nice that the American bishops feel the need for an official rite of blessing, I can’t help but think that attached to this official rite might be the desire to keep the act of blessing within “official” hands. It reminds me a bit of the pastors who invite non-Catholics into their communion line so they may receive a “priestly” blessing, rather than a watered down version from the lay Eucharistic minister.

We all need all the blessings we can get. And it is a wonderful idea for the parish community to have an opportunity to join in a prayer of blessing for expectant parents and their child. God bless the bishops for promoting this. The books of blessings for home and family encourage and invite us ALL to bless each other. For what is a blessing, but a shout out to God? When we bless someone, we are asking God to shower them with the courage, grace, faith, hope and love needed to live fully both the joys and sorrows of life. And, we don’t need an official Rite to do this.

(see also bless you!…can I?)

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