Tag Archives: family life

May 2, 2012 · 4:58 pm

modern family wins catholic oscar!

Catholics in Media Associates held their 19th annual ‘Catholic Oscars’. The 2012 award for a television series went to Modern Family. Not surprisingly, the choice came with it’s share of controversy and naysayers. But I say, Wahoo! Below is a re-post from September 19, 2011. It explains why I think this show is worth all the awards it is receiving. One of my favorite movies from last year, The Way, received the Board of Directors Award. Another great choice!

Hubby and I love to watch T.V. One of our favourite shows is Modern Family. Our family is hooked on it. The writing is brilliant as are the acting skills of each cast member. Each has developed their character into an over-the-top hilarious personality while retaining a likeable humanness and warmth. You can’t help but love this clan! If you haven’t seen the show, ABC has a brief description on their web page.

Along with many other fans, we were thrilled to see Modern Family clean up at the Emmy Awards last night. During his acceptance speech Steve Levitan, co-creator of the series, told a story about a gay couple telling him that “You’re not just making people laugh. You’re making them more tolerant.” As the audience murmured their agreement, he quickly turned the serious line into a joke by pointing the tolerance towards the Jay and Gloria relationship; the old guy and his gorgeous young wife. Yet the line about promoting tolerance has a lot of truth in it.

Humour can be one of the best platforms to present deeper realities. And T.V. sitcoms can be great vehicles for promoting larger discussions around issues of the day. Remember the bigotry of Archie Bunker? How about the anti-war messages of M.A.S.H., the single mother plot of Murphy Brown, or the famous coming-out episode of Ellen? Each time sensibilities and political correctness were challenged, loud voices proclaimed the need for upholding morals in our society. The voices were not only loud. They were almost always judgmental.

Today, battle lines are constantly being drawn between competing definitions of family. The battle-fields are in our churches and the political sphere. It’s yet another debate that has trads and libs facing off, each claiming the moral high ground.

The reality is that we are no longer a Leave it to Beaver society; if we ever were one. Our society is becoming more multi-cultural and more diverse. We are just beginning to understand that issues of gender are not always black and white. Families now come in all shapes and sizes, blending and mixing as never before. Modern Family shows that it’s not the physical make-up of a group that makes a family. Each family on this show has its own issues and struggles. They get on each other’s nerves within their own family unit, and with the extended family. They screw up, and they constantly make up. At the end of the day they are committed to each other and love triumphs over all. They are as human as they come. They are family.

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February 19, 2012 · 4:56 pm

Hugs are an outward sign of inward grace | National Catholic Reporter

Our purpose in life is to come to see and to show what we really are in Christ. A hug is an outward sign of an inward grace. It expresses our spiritual oneness with God and each other. What could be more beautiful?

via Hugs are an outward sign of inward grace | National Catholic Reporter.

Please do read the above essay by Michael Leach. Warning, it might give you an uncontrollable urge to hug someone.

Hugs are given out generously in our family. When we arrive, and when we depart; we hug. When we hear news worth celebrating, and when sorrows are shared; we hug. When we reunite with old friends or family, a hug melts the separation of time. And when someone new is welcomed into our home…well, that can get a wee bit tricky…

One daughter always warns her friends that they may get hugged at the door. But, the ‘hug or not to hug’ question sometimes requires a game-time decision. I hate making decisions, so usually open my arms to welcome someone new. When in doubt, hug…right? Not always. When someone seems really ill at ease or shy, a hug can be truly an awkward thing. Just like the ‘dead fish hand-shake’, the ill-at-ease-light-pat-on-the-back-and-oh-so-swift-distancing can feel like a rejection. In those cases, I just make a mental note. Next time, a warm greeting and perhaps an outstretched hand.

Or, another approach. Persistence! Some folks just need some hugging lessons. Give them enough time and enough hugs, and they’ll get the hang of it. It’s a wonderful feeling when a reformed non-hugger  finally welcomes you with open arms. :-)

But, I have also been in situations where cultural traditions must be respected. Physical closeness can be seen as not only an intrusion, but as the height of rudeness. This must be respected in order not to offend. And then there’s the wonderful European embrace…arms on shoulders and the double cheek kiss. After a lot of head butts, I’m still trying to master this one. Which side do you start with? And then, just when I think I got it, someone pulls out the triple kiss!

Ah, now I’m over-analyzing the beautiful simplicity of a wonderful gesture. Leach also says, An old saying goes, “A hug is a universal medicine. It is how we handshake from the heart.”

A BIG AMEN!!!

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December 23, 2011 · 11:07 am

what will this child become?

Jesus and John the Baptist

What then will this child become? Luke 1:66 

The miraculous circumstances surrounding the birth of John the Baptist had local tongues wagging. First, dear elderly Elizabeth becomes pregnant well past her child-bearing years. Daddy Zachariah is struck dumb after questioning the heavenly messenger`s announcement. After the boy is born, Mama insists on calling him John; the name given by the angel. Hubby seconds the motion, writing his approval on a tablet. And, lo and behold, Papa`s voice returns!

This was no ordinary birth. How could his life be ordinary? What, then, will this child become?

We ask this question of all the children in our lives. A newborn elicits deep pondering about hope, potential and promise. The wee face and body provides only a twinkle of a glimpse into future looks and personality. Changes appear daily.

From toddlers to school-children, individual talents and challenges begin to emerge. As bodies grow, characters are formed. Having five children of our own, we were always amazed at their uniqueness and diversity.

By high school, the first hesitant attempts at planning a future life begin. We now know, from experience, of the heavy stresses placed on our young people as they discern career choices and life`s paths. Who knows at 18 years of age what this child will become?

Through the twenties paths are tried and tested. Some lead in a simple straight line to fulfilled dreams. Most wind through and around different places, providing either freedom or uncertainty depending on where the mind and heart are residing.

Perhaps as our children begin their own families, we can finally breathe a sigh of relief. We now know what they have become! But, we all know that life is full of surprises, unexpected challenges and new opportunities. Untried paths can open up before us regardless of the time of life we are in. I am in my middle years, still wondering what I will become.

As the holy season of Christmas approaches, we prepare to celebrate the coming of the most extra-ordinary babe, born in the most ordinary surroundings. His miraculous birth has tongues wagging to this day. He showed us the blessedness of each child born, the sacredness of each life created by a loving God.

Here`s to all the children in our lives – young and old. May we all trust in God`s loving plan for each of them; and always be open to the surprises along the way!

Wishing you all a joy-filled and blessed Christmas!

affectionately,

Isabella

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December 13, 2011 · 7:41 pm

the gift is in the visit

The Visitation Mariotto Albertinelli 1503, http://freechristimages.org/

It’s the time of year for visiting and joy-filled celebrations. It’s the time for groaning tables, over-flowing glasses, and good cheer all around.

Visiting is my favorite part of the season. But, it can also be the most stressful. Each year I vow to simplify things. But simplicity never seems to come. Christmas comes with its own great expectations. It’s the grand dame of holidays, the stuff of family memories and legends. And, the grand dame must be appeased!

One of my favorite Food Network shows is Dinner Party Wars. I’m not a fan of reality shows, but I do enjoy this one. Three couples take turns hosting a dinner party. They are judged on their food and the quality of their hospitality. Spending excess time on fancy food preparation at the expense of time with your guests is a big no-no. Snobbery and self-centered conversations will lose you points as will being an ungracious host or an ungracious guest. Having the fanciest place-setting or the most pretentious meal will not guarantee you a win. Simple food cooked well while providing a warm, congenial atmosphere will. And, that’s why I like it!

The beautiful story of the Visitation, reminds us of the deeper truth in the act of visiting. We see Mary leaving the comfort and security of her home after receiving the life-altering news of her pregnancy. The journey must have been filled with fears, hardships and worries. Yet she headed out to visit her much older cousin, Elizabeth, in her time of need. She went to help, but perhaps also for moral and sisterly support. The image of the two women joyfully greeting each other, while babes leap in the wombs brings gladness to all hearts. Elizabeth wouldn’t have known that Mary was coming. How would she? She did not have time to put flowers on the front table or prepare a fancy dessert. All that was needed was open arms and a welcoming embrace.

It is a sign of hospitality to have home and hearth ready and prepared for guests. It is a sign of friendship and love to gather around the table to share a great meal and conversation. But the heart of hospitality is grounded in presence. And, the true gift lies in the visit.

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October 14, 2011 · 10:18 am

laughter really IS the best medicine!

One of the best gifts you can pass on to your children is the gift of laughter. My heart bursts with pride when we are together and the joking begins. Friends have told us that they see our sense of humor in our kids. YES!!! A job well done!

We`re also proud of their many gifts and talents, their compassion and generosity. But a good dose of gladness gives us all an energy boost to face the daily challenges. One of my daughters asked me, “What should I look for in a man?” Without thinking I answered,“he has to make you laugh”! (Hubby reminds me that I’m supposed to laugh with him, not at him. ;-) )

When we gather, stories of family, work and school begin to flow. Humour is found in some of the most challenging and difficult situations. When they were growing up, the kids knew their biggest embarrassments were future fodder for the siblings’ story-bank; details carefully recalled and flourishes added. New members to the family are dragged through a long initiation process as stories are re-told and inside jokes and one-liners are explained.

We have learned to laugh at the absurdities in life. Laughter doesn’t take away anger and frustration, but it helps to keep them in check. Melissa Musick Nussbaum has a wonderful article over at NCR titled We laugh because we know who we are. She describes how laughter not only helps us overcome difficulties; it also neutralizes the power of egotistical leaders,

The dictator’s goal is to be recognized as God, even if God over only this little house, that small nation, or the most modest parish. Dictators work hard at building and maintaining the illusion of godhood. Laughter destroys the illusion. (Melissa Musick Nussbaum)

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September 28, 2011 · 5:00 pm

teaching the faith – who`s responsible?

The family is supposed to be the primary educator of the faith. In his 1979 Apostolic Exhortation, Catechesi Tradendae (Catechesis in our Time), John Paul II stresses that it is within the ecclesia domestica, or domestic church, that children are formed in their faith. When I first read this, I interpreted it as a wonderful shout-out to the subsidiarity of the family unit. In a church that too often thinks in hierarchical terms, here`s an example of Mom and Dad coming out on top! Do you hear that, Father?!

Of course, all families do not accept or embrace this responsibility of primary educators; whether in secular or religious education. It’s easier to pass the buck to the ‘professional’ teachers, even if those teachers are ill-equipped or under-qualified volunteers.

Formation in the faith is more than memorizing dogma and prayers for one hour a week. It requires being immersed in your faith, allowing it to weave into your daily life. The sacramental spirituality of Catholicism encourages us to put flesh on our beliefs through meaningful routines and ritual actions.

Crucifixes on our walls and around our necks remind us that our darkest worries can be raised in hope-filled prayer. Statues and pictures of Mary and the saints remind us that we have friends standing by to pray with us and pray for us. Praying as a family answers the summons of ‘where two or more are gathered in my name’. Collecting pennies from our Lenten sacrifices connects us to social justice actions around the world, with a preferential option for the poor. And we gather as the Body of Christ to celebrate the Eucharist; the source and summit of our faith.

But what about the child who comes to the parish catechism class with little or no exposure to their faith? What about the child who seldom sets foot in a church? Where does a catechist begin? What would Jesus do?

We know what Jesus would do. He would welcome all the little ones with open arms, without judgment. And this is what a good catechist would do. If the one hour a week of parish catechism classes is all the faith formation that a child will receive, then the catechist will try to make the best of that hour. And let God do the rest.

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September 19, 2011 · 5:18 pm

modern family

Hubby and I love to watch T.V. One of our favourite shows is Modern Family. Our family is hooked on it. The writing is brilliant as are the acting skills of each cast member. Each has developed their character into an over-the-top hilarious personality while retaining a likeable humanness and warmth. You can’t help but love this clan! If you haven’t seen the show, ABC has a brief description on their web page.

Along with many other fans, we were thrilled to see Modern Family clean up at the Emmy Awards last night. During his acceptance speech Steve Levitan, co-creator of the series, told a story about a gay couple telling him that “You’re not just making people laugh. You’re making them more tolerant.” As the audience murmured their agreement, he quickly turned the serious line into a joke by pointing the tolerance towards the Jay and Gloria relationship; the old guy and his gorgeous young wife. Yet the line about promoting tolerance has a lot of truth in it.

Humour can be one of the best platforms to present deeper realities. And T.V. sitcoms can be great vehicles for promoting larger discussions around issues of the day. Remember the bigotry of Archie Bunker? How about the anti-war messages of M.A.S.H., the single mother plot of Murphy Brown, or the famous coming-out episode of Ellen? Each time sensibilities and political correctness were challenged, loud voices proclaimed the need for upholding morals in our society. The voices were not only loud. They were almost always judgmental.

Today, battle lines are constantly being drawn between competing definitions of family. The battle-fields are in our churches and the political sphere. It’s yet another debate that has trads and libs facing off, each claiming the moral high ground.

The reality is that we are no longer a Leave it to Beaver society; if we ever were one. Our society is becoming more multi-cultural and more diverse. We are just beginning to understand that issues of gender are not always black and white. Families now come in all shapes and sizes, blending and mixing as never before. Modern Family shows that it’s not the physical make-up of a group that makes a family. Each family on this show has its own issues and struggles. They get on each other’s nerves within their own family unit, and with the extended family. They screw up, and they constantly make up. At the end of the day they are committed to each other and love triumphs over all. They are as human as they come. They are family.

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August 12, 2011 · 11:16 am

pondering the UK riots

This post begins, yet again, with an apology for the silence in the past days. But, I have a good excuse. This week, we welcomed the first grand-child into our clan. She is healthy, beautiful, and blessed with loving and caring parents. Our son`s face absolutely bursts with joy and pride every time he says her name! We know that she will not only be loved and cared for – she will be raised to love and care for others. We know this, because we know her Mommy and Daddy!

Meanwhile, we`ve been following the riots in the U.K. with horror and sadness. Prime Minister David Cameron has not minced his words in response to the escalating criminal activity. He has vowed to prosecute all who are guilty of the violence, destruction and theft. He told the nation that if you are old enough to commit these crimes, you are old enough to be prosecuted. There are “pockets of our society that are not just broken, but frankly sick.” When you see 12 and 13 year olds looting and laughing, you know that there is something “badly wrong with our society.” There is ”a complete lack of responsibility, a lack of proper parenting, a lack of proper upbringing, a lack of proper ethics, a lack of proper morals.”

Who is to blame…parents, society, politicians? There is no denying that the growing gap between rich and poor has left a large, disenfranchised underclass. Poor, uneducated and unemployed, they have lost all hope of reaping the benefits of our consumer society.  Mark Easton, BBC Home Editor wrote a thought-provoking editorial that describes the fine line between recognizing societal issues and using them to excuse criminal behavior.

Can the root causes of the violence be pinned on bad politics as opposed to simply bad kids, bad parents and bad morals – “criminality – pure and simple”? 

When the Home Affairs Select Committee completes its inquiry it will find itself treading that narrow line between condemning and contextualizing the unrest, but it would be hard to imagine any such investigation not wanting to consider what policies will be most effective in ensuring England’s social landscape does not have parts left tinder-dry and combustible. 

The bewildering events of the past few days are a reminder of why, however difficult, no country can afford to ignore any strata of its society. 

These are hard questions, and there are no easy answers. Ed Miliband, the Labour leader, stated that all of us have a responsibility. This I believe.  What we do, for good or ill, affects those around us and affects society. The UK riots show how strong the ripple effect can be when bad choices are made. One manic moment of torching and looting can ruin lives and livelihoods. But, I have to also believe that the good we do has an equally strong effect. I have to believe that ordinary goodness can balance out extraordinary evil.

As we continue to bask in the glow of our new grand-daughter, I’m filled with gratitude for the love that surrounds her. She won the baby lottery, but so many don’t. When I was in the midst of parenting wee ones, I often complained that I was “only a Mother.” As I watch our son and daughter-in-law embrace their little girl, I now know that being a loving parent and raising compassionate, caring children can be one of the greatest gifts you can give to the world.

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June 29, 2011 · 8:53 pm

a 30 year rose

My husband and I celebrated 30 years of marriage this past weekend. It seems like yesterday that our kids surprised us with a big, back-yard shindig for our 25th. At the time, we renewed our vows surrounded by family and friends. I wore my wedding dress, which is not as big a deal as it sounds. Polyester knit is much more forgiving than today’s corseted glories!

Our 30th was a quieter, intimate affair. We went to a favourite bistro with our matron of honour and best man, and reminisced about the years behind us. Our children grew up together. We were “aunts” and “uncles” all around, the divide between family and friends easily forgotten. Weekly phone calls have kept us in touch with the goings on of our respective clans. Visits were always fewer than we wanted, but cherished all the more. With real friends, there’s no need for re-acquaintances. You pick up where you left off.

The following day we were treated to a barbecue by our eldest son and his wife. They are counting the days to the birth of our first grand-child. We revelled in their joy and excitement. I used my tired old line…if God didn’t make the last weeks of pregnancy so uncomfortable, then no woman in her right mind would look forward to labour! We giggled at the wee outfits packed for the hospital – one blue and one pink . Only one baby, but still a surprise! We also caught up with all the sib news and the latest on the extended family.

 After thirty years, it’s wonderful to still be crazy in love. And it’s wonderful to have the gift of family and friends to share it with. They expand that small circle of two into a life’s journey worth celebrating. 

(The Rose by Bette Midler was our wedding song.  I still get verklempt each time I hear the opening bars. And, yes, I insist on a dance with my honey each anniversary!)  

 

 

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June 10, 2011 · 6:15 am

wanted – leaders of integrity…weiners need not apply

Check out this little snippet about Congressman Anthony Weiner at Lorette Lavine`s blog. She posted an excerpt from Weiner`s own web-site promoting his participation in passing the “KIDS (Keeping the Internet Devoid of Sexual Predators) Act of 2007, a bill to require sex offenders to register their e-mail and instant message addresses with the National Sex Offender Registry.” It’s a laudable act. It also shows the glaring disconnect between his public work and his private life. Lavine challenges Weiner to explain his recent actions to those closest to him.

The indiscretions of yet another politician are reason enough to be disgusted. But the ongoing debate over whether the indiscretions are sufficient reason to suggest his resignation shows the continued lowering of moral standards for our leaders. Do we have the right to judge the behaviour between two consenting adults? In an age of chat-rooms and twitter accounts Clinton’s famous line, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” takes on a life of its own. This line of defense is now used in evermore creative situations. And there is the argument that our society has changed and our leaders are only human. We should not expect them to live up to some ideal, unattainable standards.

It is imperative that we do not continue lowering our moral standards. To do so is to take away from the dignity of each human being. We can either believe that we are inherently good, yet struggle with evil. Or we can believe that we are inherently evil, struggling to be good. The former acknowledges that we are capable of living a life of integrity, despite our human weakness and failures. The latter believes that human weakness is the norm, therefore we shouldn’t expect too much from ourselves or others. This will result in the bar getting lower and lower. Eventually it will be poetically sitting in the dirt.

Is it too much to expect our leaders to live an honest and good life? Is it too much to expect from anyone?

I married a good man. He is obsessively honest in both his personal and professional life. The dental world is bombarded with marketing experts promoting strategies to convince patients that they need high-end treatments. He refuses to use his profession as a money making machine. He believes the only marketing needed in healthcare is prevention focused. He has never tried to defraud patients, insurance companies, or the government. (He will not even bring home a roll of paper towels from the office unless he replaces it.) He is a faithful and loving father and husband.

Why is he like this? His answer…at the end of the day, I have to be able to sleep at night.

Credibility must be earned. Our morals and ethics must form a seamless garment in all that we do – both publically and privately. There are many good and honest women and men in this world. Our leaders should be looking up to them for an example of how to live a life of integrity.

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