Tag Archives: postaday 2012

April 1, 2012 · 9:54 am

is there a hierarchy of blessings?

An interesting dialogue has unfolded on the previous post regarding blessings. Are blessings given by an ordained man more effective or special? Here are some thoughts…

Many of us were raised to believe in a hierarchy of blessings. This reflected the church as a structure of hierarchical leadership, and was ingrained within our Catholic psyche. A deacon’s blessing was greater than a lay person’s. A priest’s blessing was greater than a deacon’s. A bishop’s blessing was greater than a priest’s. And a papal blessing was the best of all!

Promoting this belief has fed the great divide between the ordained and the laity – a divide that has benefited the ordained for centuries. It went beyond affirming the special sacramental gifts received in ordination, to a belief in an assumed wisdom. And, an assumed holiness. (Thankfully, our Church has been careful to teach that the efficacy of the sacraments does not depend on the holiness of the priests.)

This assumption of holiness in the ordained has got us into a lot of trouble, and has allowed a lot of evil to go unchecked and unpunished in our church. So, no, I can no longer believe that the blessing of an ordained man is automatically holier or more effective. St. Francis might have had a big enough heart to prostrate himself before every priest merely because he was a priest; even if that priest was the greatest sinner of all. My heart isn’t that big.

Whether lay or ordained, God listens to the prayers of both sinners and saints. So, hopefully God will receive kindly the blessings of all. But, my own human nature tells me that when a true person of prayer tells me they are praying for me, then somehow that prayer will be given special hearing; because it is a prayer that comes from the depths of the heart. (This is why it is so wonderful to join our prayers to that great communion of saints.)

And, I feel the same way about blessings. A blessing is a prayerful shout out to God to shower graces on a specific person, event, place or thing.  I don’t believe that the efficacy of the prayer depends on our official status in the Church, or even if we are Catholic or not! When a person that I love and respect for their deep faith offers to bless me, than I feel truly blessed.

A former pastor always invited the parish community to join him in special blessings. This was a powerful gesture, especially during the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) as women and men journeyed to the Easter sacraments. As he read the ‘official’ blessings of the Church, we all turned to the person and raised our hands in a blessing gesture. This simple action took the focus away from the priest as some magical dispenser of blessings, to a blessing community. And when the entire community blesses, then you can’t help but believe that the the blessings will overflow.

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March 28, 2012 · 9:36 pm

more thoughts on being an introvert

I’ve finally finished Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.  The light bulb of recognition continues to click on as I become more and more aware of why I do what I do. Why I think the way I think. Yes, I am an introvert. The signs are all there. And, with this recognition, is a deep sense of freedom.

I always knew that I leaned toward introversion. As a child, I loved rain and snow storms. This meant that I could curl up with a book without the guilt of a sunny day beckoning me outdoors. Books still follow me everywhere I go; in the car, at the lake, on air travels. (I love you, iPad!)

I was never painfully shy, but I shied away from large social gatherings and events. I still do. I prefer an intimate evening with good food, good wine, good conversation and good friends.

I was always blessed with friends, but I valued quality over quantity. My nearest and dearest friends have been in my life for almost thirty years and more. Time flies when we chat over numerous cups of tea, drinks, or an over-heated telephone receiver. Sometimes all three!

Many of the women and men, who have been my mentors and models, are introverts also. At meetings, they don’t have the loudest voice at the table. The loudest voices usually monopolize the conversation, whether or not they have something of substance to share. My mentors are the ones who can sit quietly during the maelstrom of cacophonous voices.

But they are not merely sitting. They are pondering. And when they speak, everyone listens. They listen because they know that this person’s voice will carry substance. These women and men model strong leadership for me. They allow all voices to be heard before gently nudging from the side-lines. They don’t have to be front and center to be a moving force in a group.

I may be introverted, but I’m not afraid to give a talk or a presentation. But, I feel more comfortable reading a prepared speech. I will spend hours writing and editing obsessively. But, if I am happy with the end result, it increases my confidence. I have sat on panel presentations where I was the only one with a prepared talk, but this no longer worries me. Apparently, this is a common public speaking strategy for introverts.

I finished my university studies later in life. As a young student in a traditional lecture hall, I never raised my hand or contributed to a class discussion. With the introduction of online classes and asynchronous conversations, I had found my element. I love the thinking process. For me, writing is an extension of this process. Online discussion boards allow me the luxury of time to think and write carefully. The other advantage is that I don’t have to sit and squirm through long-winded diatribes from the class extrovert. I can simply scroll down through their densely worded paragraphs!

It is no surprise that many writers are introverts. Blogging is a great forum for us. It allows our voices to be heard, and to nudge a dialogue with others. If an online discussion gets over-heated, we can easily leave it to those who enjoy the energy of an aggressive debate. I don’t.

Did I mention that I’m an introvert?

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March 15, 2012 · 10:43 am

Misconceptions of femininity hamper faith development

...we must discard the notion that all things of the heart belong in the realm of women, and things of the mind belong to men. Women and men each have gifts and characteristics that we tend to identify as more “female” or “male,” but these gifts are not uniquely or solely theirs. The perfect human would encompass all these gifts. The perfect church and society would tap into the richness of both in order to access the potential of wholeness within humanity….

The Prairie Messenger has kindly published the second of my two part column on the perceived view that our church is becoming too feminine…Misconceptions of femininity hamper faith development.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you!

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March 14, 2012 · 3:46 pm

politically correct hot-cross buns!

Here’s one for the political-correctness-gone-mad file! On a trip to the grocery store today, I was thrilled to see a stand of hot-cross buns at the front door. Wahoo! A Lenten favorite! (For me, not the rest of my clan.) On closer inspection, I saw that the sign read  ’6 Spice Buns’. Huh? And, they came in two varieties – with a cross, and plain. Sigh…

Guess we’ll have to change the words to the song now….one a penny, two a penny, 6 spice buns!

Watch out, Easter Bunny. Your days may be numbered, too! ;-)

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March 9, 2012 · 9:22 am

International Women’ Day – women in the church

I was hoping to write a special post for International Women’s Day yesterday, but this woman ran out of steam. Ideas were filling my brain, but there was no energy to write them down. Happily, the Prairie Messenger published my latest column online today.  Here it is,

‘Mad men’ in the church long for return to the past

Here is the article from the B.C. Catholic that gave me the inspiration for this column,

Men’s night challenges attendees to ‘man-up’ for Christ.

I thought it was a good topic to reflect on, and am thankful for the Prairie Messenger’s  ongoing commitment to promote a healthy dialogue in our church.

What are your thoughts on gender-stereotyping in our church and society? Do you think there is a ‘crisis’ in male leadership?

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March 7, 2012 · 11:47 am

introverts and extroverts in the catholic church

My previous post was on the extroverted nature of evangelical churches reflected in their style of worship, preaching, fellowship and evangelizing. The springboard for these reflections is Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

For me, the logical next step in this thought process is to look at our own Catholic Church. Are we a church where introverts or extroverts would feel most comfortable? What do you think?

One of my favorite things about being Catholic is our diversity. At it’s best, this diversity can accommodate many different personalities. We have a veritable smorgasbord of prayer styles, and liturgical traditions. We have Gregorian chanting Latin masses and guitar strumming folk masses. We have charismatic prayer groups that participate in a Pentecostal style of worship. We have communities that offer Taizé prayer, centering prayer and Eucharistic adoration.

We have lively, colorful parades and pilgrimages that reflect local culture and customs. We have private novenas and devotions.

Some of our clergy wear simple vestments; some tend to the more elaborate. We have religious sisters who dress in every-day clothing. Others prefer the public identification of full religious garb.

We have hermitages and cloisters. We have monasteries that open their doors to all who seek the silence within. We have retreat houses for solitary time and large gatherings alike.

We have World Youth Days that welcome thousands. And we have small, Theology on Tap evenings where faith issues can be discussed in the intimate setting of a neighborhood bar.

We have pastors and bishops who regularly make the head-lines with loud statements on the latest political events. We have many more that prefer to go about their work with a quiet commitment.

We have charismatic media preachers and reflective spiritual writers.

We are fortunate to have such diversity within our church, for it truly offers options to suit every personality. It’s sad when we don’t celebrate this diversity. It’s even sadder when one way is imposed as the only way, or promoted as better than others. Our world is made up of introverts and extroverts, as are our churches. A well balanced faith community will respect the different needs of each.

On the other hand, we all need to step out of our comfort zones sometimes for the sake of the community. You don’t want to exchange greetings at the beginning of mass? Well, maybe your neighbour finds it excruciatingly difficult to sit still during moments of silence. We can’t please everyone all the time, and we can’t expect to be pleased all the time. But, we can be sensitive to the different needs of introverts and extroverts in our midst.

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March 6, 2012 · 11:57 am

being an introvert in an extroverted church

In Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, there is a thought provoking chapter titled Does God Love Introverts? An Evangelical’s Dilemma.

During a visit to Saddleback Church, one of the largest evangelical churches in the U.S.A., Susan met with a local evangelical pastor, Adam McHugh; an “avowed introvert”. The leader of Saddleback is Rick Warren, the charismatic author of The Purpose Driven Life. The church boasts a weekly attendance of 22,000. People are drawn to its high energy style of worship, which made the conversation between the two introverts all the more interesting.

Pastor McHugh described his struggles being an introvert within the evangelical tradition,

The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion. The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It’s a constant tension for many introverts that they’re not living that out. And in a religious world, there’s more at stake when you feel that tension. It doesn’t feel like ‘I’m not doing as well as I’d like.” It feels like ‘God isn’t pleased with me.’ (p.66)

McHugh began to connect with other introverted souls. His blog turned into a book, Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture. He is now promoting the importance of listening, silence and mystery in religious worship, contemplative prayer as well as community socialization.

I attended a rousing praise and worship service several years ago. I loved the lively music and energy of the worshipers…for the first five minutes. Then I began to feel squirmy. This wasn’t my style. I felt uncomfortable rising to my feet to join in the hand clapping and swaying. To be fair, I feel awkward doing this even at a Bon Jovi concert. I’m the old fart that would just like to sit in my seat and enjoy the music.

One thing that I did feel at both the praise and worship service and the concert was envy. Envy for those spirited souls who can let loose and really enjoy the moment.

For so many years, I thought that I was just being a stick in the mud. Now I’m realizing that it’s just my introverted nature. And that’s okay.

(Next: introverts and extroverts in the catholic church)

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March 5, 2012 · 11:43 am

the power of introverts

I cringe at attending large social gatherings. I abhor the group think mentality of pep rallies or the over-enthusiastic speaker who insists we answer their rhetorical questions with exuberant unison. I need silence and solitude to read and write. I avoid loud debates; whether in person or online. I simmer inwardly when an over-confident, smooth talker monopolizes a meeting. I love my lively clan of a family, but need to retreat to my room to replenish my energy.

I think I might be an introvert!

Now I have found an ally who has intelligently and insightfully put into words the story of being an introvert in an increasingly extroverted world. I’m only in the middle of Susan Cain’s fabulous book, Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, but have already gleaned much wisdom and understanding from it. Cain has written a very readable book, filled with solid research, exploring how the culture in the U.S.A. changed from a focus on character to personality. From Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People to Unleashing the Power Within with Tony Robbin’s, we are told that success is equated with being able to convince others to buy what we are selling (whether it’s products, ideas or ourselves) and to do so with over-the-top confidence and bravado. From corporate board rooms to church pews, the focus is too often on presentation and not substance.

Ideas are what form substance, and this is where introverts usually excel. Throughout her book, Cain returns to naming a litany of introverts whose ideas have been the catalyst for great change in the fields of science, technology and the arts.  In the introduction, she quotes the science journalist Winifred Gallagher,

The glory of the disposition that stops to consider the stimuli rather than rushing to engage with them is its long association with intellectual and artistic achievement. Neither E=mc2 nor Paradise Lost was dashed off by a party animal.

Of course our world needs the gifts of both introverts and extraverts. It’s not a matter of either or, but of both and. But this book is an affirmation for those of us who have ever felt drowned out by the extroverted world we live in.

(Note: the next few posts will continue this discussion. In the meantime, here’s a link to an interview with Susan Cain on CBS News.)

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February 28, 2012 · 7:41 pm

Finding the meaning of Ash Wednesday in a darkened movie theater | National Catholic Reporter

Finding the meaning of Ash Wednesday in a darkened movie theater | National Catholic Reporter.

Jamie L. Manson has done it again – bravely sharing from the deep, dark places of the heart. Her latest column describes her frustration in the past weeks fighting the contraception issue in the US. In her fatigue, she first forgot about Ash Wednesday then intentionally refused to participate in the distribution of Ashes.

I had a similar experience, many years ago. A dark time in our local church coincided with the Lenten season. How I struggled to attend the requisite services – more for the sake of our children than mine. I know how difficult, how impossible, it can be to walk through the doors of the church when the hurt is raw. When the anger is fresh.  I didn’t need ashes strewn across my forehead to remind me of suffering.

I hope that many will read Jamie’s powerful and honest reflection. Perhaps you, too, can relate. It is also a reminder for us all not to judge those who are missing from the pews. Don’t assume that absence connotes a ‘bad’ or ‘fallen away’ Catholic. Absence can be a survival technique for those who truly love the Church, but need an intentional time of exile.

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February 27, 2012 · 4:52 pm

the way – the movie

“You don’t choose a life, Dad. You live it.”

The highlight of this past Oscar weekend, was watching a non-Oscar movie. But what a winner it is!

I’ve been waiting and waiting to see The Way for about a year. I read about it when it was still in production. I read reviews when it finally opened in the USA and then in Canada. But, it never made it to our rural theatres. What a shame! We all need a break from the ongoing conveyor-belt of Hollywood block-buster, shoot-em-up shock-fests. Yet these are the movies that garner theatre releases and fill the rental -shelves a few months later. So, I was thrilled to see The Way offered on Apple TV. Hubby and I watched it on Saturday, and again on Sunday. It’s just one of those movies.

The Way is written and directed by Emilio Estevez. It stars Martin Sheen as Tom, an ophthalmologist who receives news that his son died on the first day of the Camino De Santiago pilgrimage. He flies to France to pick up his son’s remains and has the inspiration to walk the Camino himself, spreading his son’s ashes along the way.

The story is simple, but powerful. The friends Tom (unwillingly) picks up on the way reflect the classic, rag-tag of characters found in most pilgrim stories. Their reasons for walking the Camino are as diverse as they. Joost, from Amsterdam, is hoping to lose weight and win back the affection of his wife. Sarah, the Canadian, wants to quit smoking. Jack, the Irish scribe, is battling his writer’s block demon.

The cinematography is stunning. The many minutes devoted to the actual walk draw you into the experience. You imagine yourself walking the Camino. You wish you were walking the Camino. (New bucket list item?!)

The evening scenes were wonderful vignettes of Spanish late night table socializing; eating, drinking, and singing into the wee hours. It is no place for a quiet introvert!

The Way is a movie that draws you into deeper thought. As with any good piece of writing, art, or drama, it opens itself to layers of interpretation. My own take-away was the realization, yet again, that our personal efforts at self-discipline aren’t as important as the relationships around us. This is a good lesson for Lent. I remember hearing once that we are all, at one time or another, the walking wounded. And, we are not meant to walk alone. We need companions on the journey. We need to be companions on the journey. And, our loving God certainly has a sense of humour when it comes to matching us up!

If you are looking for a good Lenten meditation, I highly recommend The Way. Watching a movie may not be penance. But, we can all use a little inspiration on our Lent journey. Buen Camino!

(Click here for the movie trailer.)

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