Formal debating comes with its own procedures and rules. These ensure that both sides have an equal opportunity to be heard within a civilized atmosphere. The skill of rhetoric revolves around the ability to think critically, to choose your words wisely, and to present them respectfully. Trying to understand the opponent’s way of thinking (even if only to achieve success in the debate) encourages open-mindedness. For this reason, a good debater can successfully put aside personal opinion and defend both sides of an issue.
Of course, we can’t be expected to follow the rules of formal debate in our daily discourses especially if we are discussing an issue close to our heart. But too often our discourse lacks any critical thinking, wise words, or genuine respect for the other.
The shouting matches that we witness in the media today are the lowest form of debate, if they can be called debate at all. We listen to them on TV and radio and read them in newspapers, magazines, and the internet – especially in letters to the editor and readers`responses. Based on the characteristics of these divisive debates, I wonder if this is the corresponding list of tips. Yes, they are the antithesis to yesterday`s list of dialogue tips. 😉
1. God tucked your ears on the side of your head, but put your mouth front and center. Use it.
2. The goal is to take down your opponent. Use their talk time to strategize your next move.
3. Interrupt, interrupt, and interrupt some more.
4. Learn how to twist your opponent’s words, take them out of context, and then throw them back for a slam-dunk.
5. The issue is black and white. There is no common ground, so there’s no use wasting time looking for it. You are right. They are wrong.
6. The louder and angrier you sound, the better your chance of winning.
7. Use your face to keep up your side of the conversation while the other is talking. Rolling eyes, raised eyebrows, and loud exhalations are especially effective. Learn how to PFFFT with style.
8. You know it all, and the world needs to hear it.
9. Wow them with your ability to pontificate. No need to come up for air. The longer the discourse, the smarter you will appear.
10. It’s all about winning. Don’t stop until the other admits defeat!
catholic dialogue 
We are experiencing the things on this list in our everyday lives. There is a rough edge of our society, the anxiety that fills the airways with anger, frustration, judgments and projections and fears. It is difficult to watch the news, or read the front page of the newspaper. The economic crisis of: “can I pay my bills?” “can I send my children to college?” “Will there be a home to live in?”
There are two detoxing methods necessary to deal with our world. They are: “silence” and “non violence”.
We live in a very noisy and distracted world. We live in a world where there is so much anxiety that the noise becomes louder to diminish that anxiety. There is much evidence that toxic noise can spill over into chaos and feed violence. Silence, nonviolence, and then as Benedict taught, “listen with the heart”, these are radical experiences for the culture in which we live, but necessary for the great dialogue.
All of this is nothing new to each of you who dialogue on this site. Peace.
There is always a newness to be found in true words of wisdom, Ray. A new way to look at things. New images to ponder. The simple word, toxic, describes so well the present situation of today`s loud and chaotic discourse. And the idea of detoxing through silence and non-violence……wonderful. Cheers from another fan of Benedict (the saint!). 🙂